Posted on January 12, 2022 2 Comments
I use the word “conviction” because it sounds so much more non-negotiable than the word “belief”. I didn’t even realize I had convictions until a big one was staring me down. And, it took a really long time for me to clearly define this conviction. It was:
Posted on December 23, 2021 3 Comments
This will be our first Christmas without him. It is bittersweet. It had been years since he had been sober on a Christmas Day. He felt such guilt at not being the man he wanted to be for his kids that he would become overwhelmed and drink those terrible feelings into much worse ones. He […]
Posted on July 23, 2021 1 Comment
There have been so many what I call “thought tornados” that I have had to resolve in the wake (tsunami) of these changes that I am finding I have no choice but to take them to God regularly. I cannot and should not burden anyone else with the anguish that is me when I am fearful. Some of me needs to remain between me and God. I have had a quite fractured relationship with God for several years and through this anguish of removing myself from the man I love, letting go of a man I loved, and embracing a challenging new opportunity – God has called me back to Him. To my knees in praise, and in fear, and in mourning, and with cries for strength because I have never felt so weak or my foundation so shaken.
Posted on June 22, 2021 Leave a Comment
I was scrolling through TikTok last night, watching the many videos on trauma, toxic relationships, and narcissism that tend to be on my “for me” page, and I recognized myself in literally almost every post. I understand the trauma, I have lived in the toxicity, I have labeled my ex as a narcissist without any […]
Posted on June 11, 2021 Leave a Comment
But what I could not see due to the bubble I had crawled into to try to protect myself, was that if I was in a toxic relationship, SO WAS HE. He was not choosing to live in a toxic place on purpose. Who would do that? He was miserable too. No one actually wants to live that way. This is powerful now, in looking back. It strips away the animosity I have felt about this period of my life.
Posted on May 3, 2021 Leave a Comment
My ultimate goal when I woke up every day was to see my life and my people through a love paradigm. This is still my goal. How could I have regret if I loved my way through the difficult times instead of allowing bitterness to reign?
Posted on April 11, 2021 4 Comments
Today I am in the beautiful city of Charleston, exploring. This is not something I necessarily would have done in the past – wander around on my own in a city I’ve never visited before. I am introverted and self-conscious. It would probably behoove me to do more research, but I am actually really enjoying […]
Posted on April 6, 2021 Leave a Comment
For years, I have planned to write extensively about life with an alcoholic, specifically, the lessons I learned about life, love, and grace because of it. Recently, I have been narrowing the topics and making a plan, forming questions that I know my answers to will help other women who find themselves in a similar […]
Posted on April 4, 2021 Leave a Comment
He can and DOES take situations and parts of us that we think are dead and gone and he resurrects them as something new. This right here, this is an amazing and wondrous thought, isn’t it? God can raise the dead. If he can raise the dead he most certainly can breathe new life into someone who feels broken and lost.