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The Christmas I gave up on love OR the Hallmark Man Prayer

This is something I think some of us struggle with after the ending of a toxic relationship. It is glorious though, to know I will be happy alone, or not, but that I don’t need anyone else to make happy happen. . . I embraced the vulnerability that allowing the possibility of love to enter my life again would bring. I also trusted the Lord to deliver what he felt was best for me and I trusted that he would, in fact, deliver. (I also trusted he would take my list into considerations, lol.) This prayer marks the first time I was able to trust in Him fully for years. I prayed and I TRUSTED. This was significant.  

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If it was toxic for me, it was toxic for him

But what I could not see due to the bubble I had crawled into to try to protect myself, was that if I was in a toxic relationship, SO WAS HE. He was not choosing to live in a toxic place on purpose. Who would do that? He was miserable too. No one actually wants to live that way. This is powerful now, in looking back. It strips away the animosity I have felt about this period of my life.

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